Monday Night Fzztball

I have petitioned Webster to change the spelling of "Football" when preceded by the words "Monday Night". The game has turned into a real snoozefest. The games have lacked any excitement while being played and the only buzz surrounding the games has been events involving participants, Hank Williams Jr. included. You take Darrelle Revis out of this Monday's game and the only pre-game talk was about Santonio Holmes calling out the Jets' offensive line (yawn). Include Revis and you have a bunch of talk about, and from, Brandon Marshall. During the game, Revis manhandled Marshall, which took little effort as Marshall put forth as much effort as a fat man lumbering down an incline; letting gravity do most of the work. I could run cleaner routes with a belly full of Yukon Jack than what Marshall did on Monday. Even worse, on the one play where he lost Revis for a huge gainer, the end zone was still too far off in the distance and he sauntered out of bounds instead of exerting himself for another 30 yards. Sadly, his play was also reflected in many other Dolphins; a truly sad overall effort and not one the ESPN paid a king's ransom for.

Speaking of generous gifts, how bad are the Cowboys when they could not capitalize on four turnovers by the New England offense to put them away? History is filled with wannabees looking for a huge upset and allowing good teams to hang around through great adversity and finding a way to win in the end. The Cowboys are only skilled at snatching defeat out of the mouth of victory....and for carting Felix Jones off the field. Jones is full of marshmallows.

Expect the Vikings to save some money on moving costs when the season ends. Sure, LA is a long way away, but they will not be packing any memorabilia from the Humpty Dumpty Dome, any fans and only a handful of players when they leave town. I don't even expect a yard sale. I see them wheeling the whole lot of trash out to the curb and fleeing. After Sunday night's debacle, I don't think they'll be missed.

Argh. My Colts upset was close at hand as they drove for a tying/go-ahead score late in the game when Pierre Garconed-up the ball that the Bengals returned for a game icing score. Rats. That would have been a nice payday as I played the moneyline when the spread was 7 points. They have no chance in The Big Easy this weekend. There is another heap of terrible games on tap for week 7, including another snoozer on MNF; Baltimore at Jacksonville. Do you know that the Jags are scheduled for not one, not two, but three Prime Time games, a-ha-ha....two MNF and the evening Thanksgiving game on the NFL Network? Wives are happy to see this scheduling as many men will trade suffering through these games for family time...and hopefully some lovin'.


I do like KC to continue their run of improved play and to go into Oakland and come out with a win, even if Carson Palmer proves that holding out always pays off. The Left Coast will welcome him back with open arms, but I have a feeling KC puts a damper on the celebration. Speaking of celebrating, wait until you see LoDo after Tebow leads Denver to a road win in Miami on Sunday. Talk about perfect timing. The Broncos are rested after a Bye, play a team that is coming off a Monday night game, play one of the worst teams in the NFL this year that simply does not consider its home turf an advantage and the game is in a state that started the Tebow Blind Adulation Society. There will be more Gator grads in the crowd than Dolphin fans. The press about Tebow and him being a Savior will be unbearable. I am readying my vomitorium for excessive output.