(Sack) Dancing With The Stars

Houston, we have a problem…that it is the latest update on the billboard located on the Command Transportation Building heading into Chicago on the Edens Expressway.

Lamarr Houston added more (insult and) injury to the travesty that is the Chicago Bears’ defense by tearing his ACL during a non-crucial stop on Patriots’ back-up, Jimmy Garoppolo. I would call the Bears defense a train wreck but that implies something you continue to look at despite how awful it is. By the 3^rd quarter of Sunday’s New England debacle, I was full-on NFL Red Zone and missed seeing Lamar fail to “stick his landing”. What’s funny is that Lamar’s move was similar to the rug-cutting of Lions linebacker, Stephen Tulloch, who tore up his ACL in a September dance against the Packers (See DeadSpin for a side-by-side replay).

I guess defensive players in the modern NFL need to get their celebrations where and when they can. Rules seemed stacked against them. We love it from a fantasy perspective but is anyone else out there missing a little ‘D’? My other regional team, the Colts, failed to lose a player to a celebratory sack dance as they did not register one against the Steelers. Honestly, it was hard to appreciate the achievements of Roethlisberger when the Colts could not get enough pressure to even remotely force a patented Big Ben “king of the hill” scramble.

Bears GM Phil Emery gave a diplomatic review of Houston’s situation, suggesting that Lamarr had “built up frustration from not having a sack yet” on the season. Da Coach was a bit more direct, as always. Houston acknowledged that he “probably shouldn’t have celebrated while they were blowing us out, but it happens”. Really? I suppose that was an improvement over Tulloch who defiantly stated, “I’d do it again, brother.”

Whatever. Get a new choreographer.

So what next for the Bears? Who will pick up the slack on the 1.4 combined tackles and .12 sacks that Houston was averaging per game? Jared Allen? Too depressing to think about. Who will replace the love that Houston showed for the hometown faithful and the assessment of the team’s play this season? I am not sure anyone has the intelligence to match Lamarr and provide valuable commentary on the fans’ verbal grading of the raio of talent displayed on the field to the dollar paid.

What’s next for Lamarr? Joseph Randle scored an underwear endorsement for his sins. Certainly, there must be something out there although it probably won’t be shuffling for cold cuts. Look for him near the hot dog section.

Speaking of injuries, I am taking over for Bill the week and handling Waiver Wire Finds for the week:

QB: Carson Palmer (AZ) - Palmer has returned from his shoulder ailment showing no ill effects. He has quietly put up at least 16 points in each of his games thanks to a stable of quality receiving options. With loads of good QBs on the shelf this week, he is worthy of pickup and starting if you need a fill-in unless you are in a league where an owner foolishly tired of Big Ben and dropped him (don’t laugh, it happened in more leagues than you would have guessed). DO NOT be tempted by Michael Vick!

RB: Jonas Gray (NE) - you are rolling the dice here as gambling on who will get the backfield love in New England is risky. Where was all the Gray talk in pre-season when James White was touted as the next great back? Sure, he looked good against a putrid Bears’ defense last week, but that will not guarantee another 17 carries against Denver this week, though the Patriots would be wise to give each of their backs that many carries to speed the game up and limit Peyton Manning’s time on the field.

RB: Bobby Rainey (TB) - it appears that Rainey will be given the starting slot again with Doug Martin dinged up with an ankle injury. Rainey has done well during his fill-in chances the past two seasons and is a must-add for now if available. If you have roster room, it might be sage to also add rookie RB Bobby Sims. He has been on the IR thus far but is coming off this week and eligible to play. The Bucs could give him a hard look to help determine if the Rainey/Sims combo is their future and to trade Doug Martin in the off-season.

WR: Andrew Hawkins (CLE) - Hawkins has been floating around on the waiver wire off-and-on all season. The problem with Hawkins is that he is money in PPR leagues but not-so-much elsewhere due to his lack of TDs. This week against Tampa could be different since Tampa’s secondary is very accommodating to opposing receivers.

WR: Martavis Bryant (PITT) - the Colts made EVERY Steelers’ receiver look awesome last weekend. It did validate the 6’4″ Bryant’s arrival since he also caught a TD the week before against Houston. Though Markus Wheaton showed up versus Indy as well, it appears that the X-receiver’s job is Bryant’s for now.


WR: Donte Moncrief (IND) - Moncrief came out of nowhere last week in the Colts’ shootout with the bumblebees. He caught 7 passes for 113 yards and a touchdown and is a solid fill-in for Reggie Wayne, thus cementing the signing bust of Hakeem Nicks. He is definitely a nice WR3 or WR4 option while Wayne is hurt and Bye weeks are in effect.