Thursday, November 5, 2009

Week 8 Quotes

Every so often, one finds himself out of the public and confined indoors at home or in a hotel room. That was me last weekend, holed up in a Marriott hotel. Aside from the hours of investigative research on the volumes of pornographic entertainment that is readily available without having to worry about how that innocuous $12.95 line item on the hotel bill is going to look to the Accounts Payable department, one tends to find himself viewing large quantities of television and reading volumes of sports and entertainment news. Without the aid of liquid memory eraser, I actually found quite a few quotes to be memorable and quite entertaining. I will cite a few of my favorites for you.
· "This just in. The Chiefs have put running back Larry Johnson on the physically-unable-to-think list." -- Jim Armstrong of The Denver Post, after LJ was suspended for a series of idiotic actions.
o LOL…that and too much money for two yards per carry

· “I don’t like that. It’s done with. You don’t have to go there. I know it wasn’t the smartest thing, but at the same time we can’t keep pounding on him about it. We’ve got to be in his corner. I’m sure Baby feels bad enough without them suspending him and taking his money. I don’t think we should cry over spilled milk. It’s happened; it’s done with. What we’ve got to do is be with Baby. Things happen in life. He’s going to get a lot of pressure about this. I just think his teammates and the organization needs to be more behind him.” – Kendrick Perkins, center for the Boston Celtics, commenting on Boston having the nerve to suspend center Glen "Big Baby" Davis after he broke his hand on a "friend's" face after getting boozed up.
o What is with these prima donna athletes? Maybe he was scared of what Davis would do to him in practice if he accidentally fouled him. I guess a guaranteed contract means you are guaranteed to get paid even if you get fat, lazy, can't hit a basket and hurt yourself in a non-work related setting and can't play for your team. This is the team; incidentally, that is paying him TO WORK! What the hell? These guys need at least a real-life simulator so they can see how the world really works.

· "I sometimes feel like when you're talking to boys, they just hear certain keywords... But if you had a bubble above their head, they'd be thinking about game scores, masturbation and food." – Kate Hudson in an interview about men.
o Wow, one of the great secrets in life unveiled by the great Kate. In reality, we'd be thinking about sex with a good-looking woman, then masturbation, then game scores, food,…and a long ways down the list, her. Seriously, I cannot understand why some people think she is attractive. She must be orally gifted…and, by that, I mean a great conversationalist, of course.

· “You need moisturizer and help. You are the oldest young women I’ve ever seen.” – Wendy Williams, commenting on Lindsay Lohan’s appearance
o No doubt! Not a fan of Wendy Williams, but this is oh so true. Of course, there is not enough moisturizer around to offset the premature aging effects of cartons of smokes, gallons of booze, lots of great….conversations, fasting and dealing with the stress of making a movie every three years.

· "… As things fall apart in Nashville, up steps head case Vince Young. While he has a great match-up against Jax this week, don't look for much output as he shakes off the rust from the last year and a half on the bench. He may blow his brains out if he throws an INT, so, if you play him and you're in an In-Game Change league; make sure your on stand-by in case you need to throw someone else in later in the game. " – Ron Podgurski in his Week 8 Fantasy Football Edge column
o DAMN, I have known Ron a long time and have never seen his dark side before!

As usual, the Waiver Wire yields very little in the way of long-term relief. I included two holdovers from last week since they were on Bye.
RB: Ryan Moats (HOU) – Moats went from being available in 100% of the leagues to being THE pick-up for the week. Moats has shown bursts in occasional fill-in spells in Philly but has never been a full-time back. With Houston in the thick of the playoff hunt, no way does he become their number 1 RB. That job is still Slaton's. Of course, Steve Slaton needs to take his job a bit more seriously, so out comes Moats. With a 3-TD fourth quarter versus the easy-to-run-on Buffalo Bills, Moats will get some carries and catches every game going forward, but expect Slaton to get most of the carries.
RB: Jamaal Charles (KC) – It was just a matter of time that Larry Johnson ran himself off the team, 2 yards at a time. KC has some nice matchups left. Charles has been much more productive running and receiving the ball the past two years than LJ. They only gotcha would be if Kolby Smith is healthy enough to contribute. He looked better than Charles in 2007 but he blew his knee out early last year. KC has discussed activating him and giving him a chance soon. Though the program is in shambles, I cannot see the Chiefs giving the majority of carries to a guy just returning from knee surgery, so roll with Jamaal for this week and keep an eye on Kolby.
WR: Malcom Floyd (SD) – Floyd has proven to be a deep threat on occasion, ala Devery Henderson of the Saints, but is a guy you cannot count on week in and week out. However, the Chargers ended the Chris Chambers experiment by giving him his outright release so Floyd is the dedicated number 2 WR. The Chargers throw a lot more than they used to, so grab Floyd should he be available. FYI, Chambers ended up in Kansas City if you are remotely interested.
WR: Justin Gage (TENN) – Gage has been left dusty on the waiver wire after getting little action in the Titan's woeful gameplan so far this season. However, Vince Young is the starter for the rest of the season and had a nice rapport with Gage before his benching. Both players are reaches so, be careful who you drop to pick either up.
TE: Fred Davis (Wash) –With Chris Cooley's injury, Davis becomes a very reliable receiving option in the Redskins' mediocre offense. He did put up fantastic numbers in their MNF blowout (8/78/1) versus Philly. There is talk about rushing Cooley back in 4 weeks, but why do it if they are 2-10?